LANDON SAUNDERS
The curious thing is that if I give away self-esteem, then it seems like I have more of it.
ANOUNCER
Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Heartbeat, the podcast, featuring the insight and teaching of Landon Saunders.
On today's episode, we return to the community workshop, Feeling Good About Yourself, where Landon is exploring the relationship between us building others up and feeling better about ourselves.
LANDON SAUNDERS
And there is not anyone, no matter how solid and healthy the self-esteem is, there's not any hedge against burnout in work life that is any greater than one human being who begins to taste the joys of encouraging and building up another human being. It comes back in spades.
And that's why if you have children, around their beds, put lots of pictures.
Show pictures of your family, and pictures of their friends, and pictures of them. Lots of pictures that show them laughing, and playing, and enjoying, reflective. Have lots of pictures that shows them doing great things, and doing ordinary things. Have some of their favorite moments captured in pictures, and just line the walls all around their beds with it.
Give away about 12 hugs a day. That's what they say we need. That every human being needs 12 hugs a day, four just to keep moving. Four more is just maintenance. And it's the eighth to the 12th hug before you have something to grow. And six of those need to come before breakfast.
That's something that I can do. Now, I'm not good at that. But make these movements that human beings need affirmation.
There's a wonderful story about a professor, Andrew Husak, teaches at Seton Hall. And he said that his father once had four sentences that changed his life forever. He said when he was in maybe the sixth, seventh grade, that he came home from school one day and he had just made the baseball team. And he was real excited and they were all having a big celebration. And his father said to him in the midst of it, said, now, Andrew, Father O'Brien called today and wants to meet with us in his office tomorrow. Do you know what that's about? And Andrew said he didn't wanna mess up a perfectly good dinner and a perfectly good evening.
And so he said, well, maybe he wants to tell you himself that I've made the baseball team. And he said in his home, they had a 24-hour period in which they could lie and then take it back with no punishment. And so he was just exercising that, that he could tell a lie and as long as he took it back, within 24 hours, why there was no punishment. Good rule for a home, isn't it?
So they go to the school the next day and they go in and they sit down and Father O'Brien says, Mr. Kuzak, I think you need to take your son out of this school and put him in trade school.
Well, little Andrew knew that was like the kiss of death.
And when they went in, I missed that first sentence, when they went in, he said, good morning, Father O'Brien. That's when he said his father was always nice. And then when Father O'Brien said, you need to put your son in trade school, his father uttered the second sentence that changed his life. He said, oh, Andrew, you mustn't spend much time with this man.
Well, but Dad, I'm in his English class. I have to. Oh, excuse me for a few moments. And he left. He came back a little bit later, and he said, Andrew, and this was the third sentence. From now on, you're going to have English from Father Alexander. And then the fourth sentence, good day, Father O'Brien.
Isn't that a wonderful story? Wouldn't you love to have a father like that? Oh, Andrew would want you to spend much time with this individual instead of what that scene could have been. Everything was at stake in that moment, wasn't it? Wise and good father. And that's why if you have children in school, you might ought to go with them the first day and say to their teacher, oh, I'm glad to meet you, and I am so thrilled that you are my child's teacher. Well, why? Because I've had my child checked, and we found out that they're very, very bright. And so we're glad that, now, do you think that's going to change the way that teacher is going to look?
Did you hear about the Western University in which a computer switched the names of a very bright group of students, IQs over 135, with another group of students that were sort of on the lower end of that spectrum. And nobody knew. The professors that taught the respective classes didn't know. And the error was not discovered until a little more than halfway through that class. And they decided to let it go on out and just see what happened. They had the beginnings of a good experiment. They went to the end. And when they gave the test, the bright students went down 14 points and those less bright students came up 18 points. What was the difference? Only in the perspective of the one who was teaching.
That's why I say to you, if you're suffering from self-esteem, low self-esteem, become a giver. You're going to receive some benefits and you can literally change some lives around you.
ANNOUNCER
Landon will be right back, but we want to invite you to visit ThisIsHeartbeat.com where you can sign up to receive the joyful jumpstart email in your inbox every few days. Now back to Landon.
LANDON SAUNDERS
Okay, let me give you some homework. No presentation is quite complete if there's not a little bit of homework. Self-esteem. It's so important. We want to be encouragers of one another to do it.
And before tomorrow night, I'd like for you to do three things. First of all, I'd like for you to go home and go to the mirror.
I would advise doing this out of earshot and eyesight of everyone else in your family. Go to the mirror and look in that mirror and stay there until you can say to the image looking back, I like you, you're real, and you're special.
Now you'll gag a few times, you know, it's going to be really hard to get that out, but just stand there. And stand there even if tears come. The reason I say that is you would have no idea how many people have come back and said, I couldn't. All I could do was cry. It's not so simple. You'll see when you get home. Just stand there, and if you can't say it out loud, say it silently.
And if you can't say it truthfully, say, I was told by Landon to say this.
The reason that this step is so important is that in some sense, this is a gift, which finally you just have to receive. It's the gift of worth. The second thing I'd like for you to do is find someone before tomorrow that maybe you don't normally compliment, and compliment them.
Just say I haven't said this to you and I feel a little awkward or embarrassed, whatever you have to do to say it. But you know, you're a pretty terrific individual. Now there's gonna be a lot of fainting going on tomorrow in Miami. And if you're not accustomed to that, then it's so much more important to do it.
The third thing I would like for you to do is, I hate to do this to you...
Find someone who's just a touch ornery and tell them that they're pretty special individual. Boy, I've fought you now for 20 years and I've never told you this, but in spite of all your orneriness, in spite of all the days you've run of mine, I still wanna go on record as telling you that you're a mighty individual.
Well, that's your homework.
Now, the last thing tonight is, please, please don't think we're doing mind games. I could insult you no more than to tease your mind. And you could insult me no more than believing that this is just my gig. I'm not here simply to speak. I'm here because I don't know of anything that's more important than your life. To be fulfilled. To be joyous, to be genuine and real. That's what we're after. And that's what this homework is designed to do.
And then one by one, if we do not allow cynicism to grab us by the throat and throw us to the ground and destroy us, to squeeze all the remaining life out of us.
If we do not allow pessimism to grab us around the neck and throw us to the floor and somehow squeeze all hope out of us, if we don't allow our own fears and our own failures somehow to put an end to our life tonight that we may go on breathing for another 20 or 30 years, if we don't allow that, then there is hope for your life, there is hope for your spouse, there's hope for your children, there's hope for your parents, there's hope for the workplace.
Most importantly, when you are ready to die, you will be able with head held high to say, I am a man, I am a woman, and I have defied the odds, and I have lived in hope.
ANNOUNCER
We are so pleased you are with us today. And if you enjoyed the podcast, then we invite you to share your appreciation with others by rating and reviewing the podcast on your favorite platform. And of course, we invite you to join us on the next episode, where we'll drop in one more time on the community workshop. Until then, for all the friends of Heartbeat who make this podcast possible.
Here's to feeling good about yourself.
